Last night I attended a mixer for the Las Vegas Hospitality Association. The last LVHA mixer, at Margaritaville, a few months ago proved to be great fun. I got to see some of my favorite people and the networking was superb. In fact, thanks to Chris Meyer at the LVCVA, I thought I might be heading to China to speak soon! Even though that hasn’t yet come to pass, at least I got my passport renewed.

Last night’s event was held at Body English at the Hard Rock. After a busy time networking and saying “HI” to friends old and new, my friends and I decided to head over to FIREFLY on Paradise Road, between Sands Avenue and Flamingo. I had met the chef/owner, John Simmons, at a previous LVHA event (at Chef Live), where he made some incredible shrimp scampi. I’ve made it over to the restaurant a couple of times since then. It is always packed and consistently awesome.  

I rendezvoused at the Hard Rock with my cousin, Renee Hale, president and owner of “Always Creative,” an event planning company. She brought along Jodi Stiner, whom I adore. Jodi works for Gannett Publishing in Las Vegas.

Renee has shared that she wasn’t a fan of TAPAS, Firefly’s specialty, until she traveled to Spain this past year. She explained that she just didn’t “Get it” until she experienced it first-hand. So off we went to FIREFLY and it didn’t disappoint in the slightest. It was outrageous!

We actually didn’t have to wait since we were willing to sit in the lounge, which easily accommodated dining, in spite of the low seating. It wasn’t awkward at all, as many places with lounge seating can be. Our waiter, Paulo, towered over us at 6’1”. His accent contributed to the atmosphere; we could have been anywhere…. anywhere in the south of Spain or on the Brazilian coast. That is one of the most extraordinary qualities of Las Vegas – it magically transforms itself from Italian villa to Spanish restaurant to sandy beaches, depending upon where you go.

We ordered Sangria that had been marinating with fruit for three days. I insisted we order the bacon-wrapped stuffed dates. This is a tough one to get your friends to try; I didn’t want them on my first visit to Firefly, either, but they are now my confirmed favorite. Ted Allen, Queer Eye’s food guru, said, ‘if you want to make someone happy, feed them bacon.’ I couldn’t agree more.

The menu at Firefly is one of those where you can’t decide what to try because it all sounds divine. I have to warn you – it IS!

We also ordered shrimp in lemon garlic butter, cheese-stuffed red peppers, and grouper filets breaded with panko. EVERYTHING was perfect. We should have stopped there, but we indulged in a dessert. Hey, one dessert split three ways can’t hurt too badly. We dove into this amazing cake, dulce des leches, that tasted like it had melted ice cream  over it. It was rich, creamy, and a little bit gooey.  Wet cake…can dessert be any better than that?

We were so content, in spite of the fact that we hadn’t really eaten that much. A few bites of this and a few bites of that can be so much more satisfying than an endless meal. We ate slowly, drank our wine and, as I recall, laughed our butts off over things I can not share with you here. What a wonderful evening it turned out to be.

My cousin and Jodi were the best company. We were so happy to be free to enjoy such a great night. The next time you can’t decide where to go, make tracks for Firefly. It’s my new favorite in Las Vegas.

We have many silent killers in our midst: High blood pressure, ovarian cancer, heart disease….illnesses that hide out doing their work until it’s much to late to do proper battle with them.

My friend and neighbor, Alison Sinclair, was recently diagnosed with Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer. (I’ve capitalized this disease because I’m giving this evil beast the respect it deserves…it’s a nasty bastard.)

I met Alison through a mutual friend who had known her husband professionally. Alison happened to live on my street, so it was only natural that eventually we would become friends.

We began the friendship by taking our dogs for walks together. Her Tommy is half Shih Tzu and half Maltese, a wonderful combination of breeds! My Shih Tzu, Georgie, a.k.a. ‘The Princess,’ is a diva extraordinaire. Georgie gets pushed in a pink jogger stroller that features a pillow, (a gift from Alison) that reads, ‘The Little Princess Sleeps Here,’ along with a crown. Oh, and it’s pink, of course.

Tommy is the easiest dog I’ve ever cared for. He will eat anything (Georgie is allergic to nearly EVERYTHING!). He sleeps when you are working, plays when it’s playtime and LIVES to go for a walk. When Alison went out of town, I was asked to ‘babysit’ him. During the day, he would sit at my feet while I typed. I occasionally forgot he was here…since he was so quiet. At night, his presence was more stated, as he crowded our bed. Georgie was used to the shotgun pillow, and when Tommy commandeered it, someone (guess who!) went into a major pout mode!

Many morning walks lead to a cup of coffee (for me) and cocoa (for Alison), and the evening walks would often end up with a glass of wine. Sitting at either of our kitchen counters, we shared our busy days. Alison became a real estate agent a few years ago and was really awesome. Her light blonde hair and blue, (bordering on violet) eyes, along with her Australian accent, made her a sensation with her clients. She would dress impeccably and drive clients around in her Mercedes and absolutely WOW them. She sold so many homes in a market that had crashed, you might have thought that she was giving them away! Her success was dynamic and she was unstoppable…until her diagnosis.

The doctors gave her about six months to live. That’s a terrible option! What are you supposed to do with SIX months? Sure, we all joke that under those circumstances, we would see the world, run up all our credit cards, buy whatever our hearts desired…but if you’re in pain, which she was, none of those seemed like a very good option. She took off for a hospital in New York. The flight almost killed her.

She didn’t know she had major blood clots in her legs and in her lungs. The altitude made them worse. She was rushed to the hospital in New York, her legs in pain, gasping for air. Sloan-Kettering did what they could and sent her home to Las Vegas. I guess you can take the same pills here as anywhere.

I sat with Alison on her back patio a few days before she began her chemotherapy. We even had a short glass of wine. Hell, we could have had cigarettes, too, if we’d known what was in store.

The next three months she was in seclusion. She had a friend from Australia come to stay with her. Her friend believed she was doing what was in Alison’s best interest by allowing her to haunt the halls of her home (as the friend put it), frightened and isolated. I am so angry with her friend for not allowing Alison’s many, loving friends to visit her. I know that we would have been able to assuage her fears of dying and brighten the days she had left.

Alison had discovered an awesome Botox doctor and we went together several times, making sure we defied our age brilliantly. She was a beautiful woman who really cared about her appearance. (In Neuro-linguistic programming, she would have been EASILY pegged as “Visual.”)

The illness was turning her yellow. To me, it looked like she had experimented with the earliest self-tanning creams that hit the market in the 80’s…you know that shade: kind of pale yellow/orange, kind of unnatural?!  Her eyes grew more violet as her body failed to eliminate the toxins. I didn’t notice her discomfort that evening on her patio when I commented on her appearance. I, too, am visual and if I see something, it’s likely on my tongue before I even think to edit myself. I told her how beautiful her eyes were, but I had also mentioned the unique shade of her skin. I wish I could take it back. Knowing how self-conscious she was about her appearance, I didn’t realize she would have thought the worst of my comments.

It wasn’t until later, when she developed a rash from one of the drugs, that her friend shared how upset she was that she looked like a schoolgirl with measles. Such trivial things to worry about at such a time!

Her friend wouldn’t let us see her again. Each of her friends would e-mail me and ask if I’d seen her, since I was right down the street. I know that at one point, her white blood cell count was so low that she would be risking infection to visit with friends. But that wasn’t the case all the time. I know her friend thought she had her best interest at heart, but I think it would have been much better to have friends around the past few months….the last few months.

Well, we friends finally got to see our dear friend, as she lay dying in the neighborhood hospital, just five minutes from her lovely home on my street, her newest Mercedes in the garage, her new laptop collecting dust. This was the laptop she and I had sat at for hours, looking at pictures of her kids, the dogs, the ‘Fabulous 50’s’ party we had thrown together. Georgie and Tommy would lie next to each other as we drank our wine and laughed, sharing stories of work and life.

How can someone so vital disappear from our lives so suddenly? She was barely 50 years old. She loved living here in the states and being successful and beautiful. The week that she was diagnosed, we sat on her sofa one evening talking. She told me how surprised she was at the outpouring of affection from her friends and coworkers. Her office created a training program and named it ‘The Sinclair Initiative.’ She suddenly had flowers everywhere and friends calling from all over the world, asking what they could do to help. She had never felt so loved in her entire life.

 I guess the people in her life weren’t demonstrative enough to share their feelings for her every day. As I shared at her funeral, she said to me that evening, ‘You know, in spite of everything, the diagnosis, the prognosis, and everything that I’m going to have to deal with, this has really been the best week of my life.’ What a terribly sad revelation. To live a life filled with love surrounding you and to be unaware of it.

It’s been about six weeks since Alison’s passing. I miss her every day. Sure, there were occasional weeks that passed when we were each too busy to even grab a minute together…dashed e-mails or voice mail talking to voice mail. We laughed about it, thinking we had forever.

Now, whenever I make a pot of soup, (she loved my soups!), put out a bowl of mixed nuts, (yeah, she loved those, too), or do any of the things I used to do while Alison sat in the kitchen and kept me company, I am overcome with the sense of loss I feel. It seems as if we’re just on a hiatus – she’s showing homes and I’m off speaking somewhere or busy writing articles. Then I realize that is it….there will never be another evening spent laughing or talking about the day we had. There would be no more running to her beloved Stirling Club for cocktails or taking the ‘kids’ to the District for a walk along the shops.

Of course there is a lesson in all this…several lessons, actually. First of all, we need to live our lives as though each day is our last. We must take care of our bodies and eat our fruits and veggies (even when we’d rather have just meat and potatoes or cake). We need to share with others how much they mean to us…EVERY day, not just when we find out their days are numbered. Our lives are so very delicate. So are our hearts. Without love, they may wither and die. Whether you tell your friends, your family or your little doggie that you love them, be sure to do it often and with passion.

Alison, there are fresh nuts out on the counter and there’s wine in the fridge. I bought some of that pate you love so much today, and some interesting new cheeses to make our wine visit extra special. Stop by any time. I miss you so much.

“The Secret” controversy ~ what are people thinking? I think the “real” secret is that we need to remember to use common sense when we evaluate the infor
mation that is put in front of us!

The Secret has been around for more than 1,000 years! Okay - not the book or DVD from
Rhonda Byrnes, but the principles behind “The Secret” have certainly been around since time began. One example of how long the secret has been around is
St. Augustine. Augustine of Hippo (354-430 AD) took great pains to create and project a powerful i
mage of himself beyond the churches and towns where he wrote and taught in Ro
man north Africa. He succeeded in this self-presentation beyond his wildest dreams. He believed that we could become that which we focused our thoughts upon. Prentice Mulford was a “new thought pioneer,” who lived between 1834 and 1891. His belief in the principles of the secret are on his gravestone: “Thoughts are Things.”  His books and essays include such “new age” titles as “Thoughts are Things,” “Your Forces and How to Use Them,” “Think Yourself Wealthy: How to Attract Riches Through Thought,” and “The God in Yourself.” Think “The Secret” is new? It’s been around for AGES, but now it has a shiny new ribbon and an endorsement from Oprah, the queen of pop culture, as well as the attention of Larry King, the Today Show and every other news or talk show on every network.I appreciate that one of the teachers in the
Rhonda Byrnes edition of “The Secret,” James Arthur Ray, has
managed to pull away from the pack. He says that while “The Secret” talks about thoughts and feelings, we also need ACTION behind those to
make them effective. Sitting on your butt and wishing for things isn’t going to
make them so. If that is the problem that people have with the secret - the oversimplification of our thought process – then I understand. As Ray put it recently, “If we become what we think about, then in school I would have become a busty cheerleader!”  Again, let’s please use our common sense!The principle that thoughts are things is so simple it doesn’t deserve all of the controversy that surrounds it. Apparently, some people just feel the need to go against popular thought (which nor
mally is not such a bad thing!) The gifts of the universe are presented in this simple thought and yet people choose to argue about it, rather than take action and realize their dreams.Think about it…The Secret simply says that thoughts are things and we become what we think about. If we focus on illness, trouble or dra
ma, that is what will
manifest in our lives. Perhaps at the root of the controversy is the fact that
many people don’t want to accept responsibility for where they are. It’s easier to blame society, our parents, our jobs and anything else we can rather than understand that we are actually able to
manifest the things we want in our lives. I am oversimplifying all of this, but I believe that we can, in
many ways, create our own lives. (Note:
St. Augustine believed in predestine, that no
matter what we did, we would ulti
mately end up exactly where we were intended to by our creator. Even so, he strongly believed in the power of thought.)A radio station broadcasts a signal, whether anyone has their radio turned on to receive it or not. And even though no one
may be listening, It doesn’t mean the signal isn’t out there. Similarly, our thoughts e
manate from our minds and go out into the universe. There they are picked up by whatever “radio receivers” are tuned in to our thoughts. Many people understand this is the principle at work when the phone rings and they answer it to find it’s a friend that they were just about to call. (I always joke that some people just don’t need phones!) My sister and I can tell what each other is thinking more often than not. Mothers often have this with their children. Is it telepathy? How can we use this gift constructively? The Secret simply says “Thoughts are things; we become what we think about.” This is also the foundation of “The Law of Attraction,” which is as real as the law of gravity. I love Raymond Holliwell’s book, “Working With the Law,” a simple explanation of how the laws of the universe work, particularly the Law of Attraction. Defying these laws is akin to defying the law of gravity. You can choose not to believe in gravity, but if you drop your pen, it will still fall to the ground, regardless of what you believe. If you think about being successful, and you write down your thoughts about how your life is already successful, in the form of an affir
mation, it won’t be long before success will start to find you. You put it out there, like the radio station, and the elements that are tuned to your frequency will start to respond. It really is
magical. My father, Dr. Erwin Jay, used to
make us listen to Earl Nightingale records as a way to discipline my brother, sister and I when we were kids. He wanted a way to give us constructive criticism whenever we would misbehave. I literally grew up listening to Earl’s deep voice reminding us that a “…good attitude equals good results; a bad attitude equals bad results.” Not a bad way to teach your children. Earl called his philosophy “The Strangest Secret” and explained that “Thoughts are things; we become what we think about.” If you think about success, you will attract success. Likewise, if you think about being depressed, it won’t be long before you find yourself depressed. I remember hearing Dr. Wayne Dyer speak, telling the audience that he never gets depressed…that he does not even know how to be depressed – to which one lady responded, “THAT’S depressing!” Think about how it feels to have good health, and before long, you
may find yourself enjoying long walks or gym work-outs. Think about how driving your new luxury car will feel and pretty soon, you are likely to find yourself working harder, instead of knocking off early with your friends to grab a beer. You must first SEE YOURSELF as that person you wish to become, doing the things that person would do. At least this latest version of the secret has gained widespread publicity and attention so that people who have never heard of “The Law of Attraction” before
may actually try using it and find for themselves that they can create a better life for themselves. Last but not least, I have this wonderful poem from Henry Van Dyke framed and placed where all of my guests to my home will see it. It was written quite some time ago – Mr. Van Dyke passed in 1933. I hope you find it in your heart to bring forth love ~ Robin                  THOUGHTS ARE THINGS             I hold it true that thoughts are things;They’re endowed with bodies and breath and wings:             And that we send them forth to fill             The world with good results, or ill.           That which we call our secret thought            Speeds forth to earth’s remotest spot,               Leaving its blessings or its woes                Like tracks behind it as it goes.         We build our future, thought by thought,                 For good or ill, yet know it not.               Yet so the universe was wrought.               Thought is another name for fate;              Choose then thy destiny and wait,        For love brings love and hate brings hate.                                           Henry Van Dyke